A year gone by...

Amazing how just this past Sunday, Tim and I celebrated our paper anniversary, marking our first year of marriage. It has certainly been quite the ride. We've had our ups and downs, moments of shouting and then of sheer silence, and through it all we've managed to smile. Somehow.

I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying married life. We have chosen the quiet path to celebrate life's little triumphs and try to savour the here and now before it's part of a long ago past.

I'm so proud of my hubby. Though the return to school has been challenging, he earned two A+s on recent assignments and I'm honestly beaming. I know, yet again, he won't be too pleased when he realized I've posted this, but I don't care and am gonna toot his horn anyway. TOOT! TOOT! And me? Still at the same job, still searching for my niche.

Cheers to us both and whatever lay ahead!

Kleinburg & Nobleton

Tim and I didn't plan ahead even as our first anniversary fast approached. Poor Tim has been plagued with allergies--quite possibly a virus--and I haven't been feeling all too well, either. So we played it by ear. And when the big day came, I had a restful morning while Tim played with his new toy iPod.

After an early afternoon of leisure, we decided to go to the McMichael Gallery grounds in Kleinburg, which is another one of our favourite places. It's quite serene this time of year, and after hours on a Sunday, there aren't many people on the trails. It was the perfect day for a walk. Not too cold, and very bright. Just the way I like it. The colours of the leaves remaining on the trees weren't as brilliant as in previous years, but breathtaking, nonethless.



Afterward, we drove to nearby Daniel's of Nobleton for some simple country charm. Daniel's is a small resto-inn that offers a lovely menu and a warm ambience. Our meal was wonderful and we had a quiet drive home.

Dec 15 will mark 5 years of our being "officially" together. 'Hard to believe how fast time is flying...

So many reasons to smile!

A long time ago...

It has been months since we've posted on our blog. Amazing how crazy the pace of life can get as grown ups. We just returned from a little break and are getting settled into the hectic pace of life that is Toronto. Looking forward to the next little getaway, and pinching every penny. Tim has returned to school to be an elementary school teacher and I'm just beaming with pride (no nausea allowed, Timothea!). It takes guts to change careers and he's jumped in completely. We're truly blessed to be where we are - with a roof, four walls and a door, and a humble little space to call home.

Wedding Photo

Fast approaching our first year anniversary...

I LOVE TIM GREGG

my husband takes out the garbage, recycling and compost. he washes the dishes, does the laundry, bakes me chocolate chip cookies and apple crumble. he scrubs the toilet, puts up shelves and likes to dance. today he brought me flowers. fragrant lilies.

forget stepping on toes or bathroom mats, forget even Q-tipping the household.

I LOVE TIM GREGG!

Ode to Tim

My love, my sweet, my honey
I would trade you not for money
You are my heart’s desire
For ‘ere my burning fire
Of love and joy and happiness
And fun and silly sappiness
My one and only sweetie-pea
Love, you are the one for me

Mrs. Vieira

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in the yard of St. Malachy Elementary School, two little girls joined the lineup outside the door to Mrs. Art’s junior kindergarden class, and there embarked on a life journey that has endured the test of time. My name is Nina, and I am so pleased to be Jennifer’s Maid of Honour. We have been friends for 27 years.

In primary school, we learned our ABCs together, went to each others’ birthday parties, sang in school plays, competed in public speaking (who'd have thought it would have come in handy tonight), and suddenly found ourselves graduating side by side from Grade 8. Although high school took us to different places, we did our very best to keep in touch. Post secondary studies brought us together again where in the blink of an eye, we were convocating, this time from the University of Toronto.

How many times have we dreamed about this moment, when one of us would see the other all grown up? It seems like just yesterday we were kids playing Red Rover. Only months ago you first tried on your wedding gown. Now, as I see my oldest friend in the world, married, I am filled with absolute joy.

Jennifer has been to me the kind of friend everyone hopes for. Someone who is honest and constructive. Someone who listens and is understanding. Someone who is genuinely compassionate.

We have reminisced together, cried together, laughed together. We have even slept (!) together! Most importantly, we have ‘lived and learned’ together. Her valued advice, constant encouragement and solid friendship have helped support me as long as I can remember.

And Stan...from the moment Angela and I first met Stan at the Madison Pub, and ever since, he has consistently proven himself to be worthy of my friend, Jenny. Stan is truly a sweet, kind, and gentle man. Always ready with a smile, generous by nature, willing to extend a helping hand. Although I know Stan for a mere fraction of the time I know Jenny, I feel like I’ve known him forever. When Stan asked Jenny to marry him, she shrieked, and shrieked, and shrieked some more, in absolute delight. What a thrill it was to witness that special moment that has brought us to today.

So much time, love and energy has been put into the planning of their wedding, due in large part to Jenny’s eye for perfection, her attention to detail. Mark, Angela and the rest of the bridal party along with Mr and Mrs Anjo can vouch that everything has been painstakingly orchestrated. The perfectly tied lilac bows on every invitation, the seating blueprints, the contingency plans.

I suspect our mutual classmates Betsy, Liz and Rhea bet big money on whether or not we’d get Jenny to the church on time. Even though it was on her detailed itinerary, Jenny has been known to be late every now and then. Despite the odds, my friend, you did it! In all seriousness, over the last year Jenny has managed the many and minute details that have made this milestone so beautiful. The job was enormous, but Jenny tackled it, head on. Even at the onset of the flu the last few days, she didn’t rest until everything was done. And here we are. Finally.

My dear friend. I am so proud of you. You have worked so hard to get here. I am so happy to see you happy, in love, and now married. Today is your day and Stan’s. Now it’s time to relax and savour the moment.

If everyone could please raise their glasses for a toast in celebration of my kindergarden friend Jenny and her husband Stan. To Mr. and Mrs. Vieira!

Kincardine

Last Friday Tim and I joined the great exodus of cottage go-ers as we left the city, headed for the beautiful shores of Lake Huron, in the little lighthouse town of Kincardine. Friends of ours from the Guelph area, Mike and Liz, had kindly extended the invitation to visit over the last few years but we weren’t able to go until now.

As we neared highway #9 en-route, we heard the gentle “splatter” of what we thought to be rain, but soon discovered to be bugs of monstrous proportion. After a left on highway #21 to concession 10, and then another left onto Bruce Beach Road, we pulled into a long gravel driveway, surrounded by a forest of pines, old spruce, and mosquitoes galore. Sure to apply bug spray before venturing from car to cottage door, we then grabbed our bags and made a run for it, making it safely and soundly across the screened-in threshold.

There before us--amid a glowing wood panelled interior--stood Mike and Liz in their usual warm welcoming way. To complement a glass (or two) of a lovely white wine, they had prepared various plates of fresh radishes and coloured peppers, sweet papaya, mediterranean herbed olives, sundried tomatoes with marinated wild mushrooms, pate, garbonzo bean dip, feta and roasted red pepper spread, along with room temperature gorgonzola, at its very best. Mmmmm.

The late night feast was followed by a quick dip in the warm Huron waters a few steps from their back deck. Thankfully the beachfront was free from insects, and from the sandy shore I alone witnessed the inky darkness gradually swallowing the brave souls that dared venture into the great lake at night. We marvelled at how eerily dark it was, the moon obscured by clouds, gentle raindrops beginning to fall. Alas, what was that pale apparition emerging from the depths?! My dear, sweet Tim.

Early next morning, we were greeted by baby Adeline, the beautiful. Delightful firstborn of Mike and Liz. We held her (Tim did a few tricks) and were positively delighted at how pleasant a baby she is. Always smiling, observing, cooing. It was awesome to see how she has grown the last few months, to watch her and have her watch us with her long lashed blue eyes. Her parents adore her, and it’s obvious why.

Tim and I walked along the beach, throwing rocks into the water and stopping every now and then to wonder at the bright orange sun setting over the vast oceanic expanse, though but a lake. For the first time in years we built sandcastles and tried to fly a broken kite. Though I did not swim, I waded out to a sandbar and posed on a rock. Like a Siren. WOO-oo-WOO-oo-WOO-oo.

This particular beachfront area is so quiet--a modern day utopia. No ski-dos, no motorboats, hardly anyone along the beach. As we lay for hours in the sand, the warm sun and cool lake created the perfect temperature. I slathered Sunscreen 50 all over Tim, but somehow managed to miss a spot on his ankle (achilles?), an area just above his knee, and one other part on the left side of his waist. Sorry, honey. Tim thinks he left the cottage with a fairer complexion than when he came, but I can honestly swear he was quite tanned compared to that first night at the lake!

Saturday night, Mike and Liz prepared a sumptuous dinner--marinated pork tenderloin with a wonderful aioli-like herbed paste, grilled vegetables, and refreshing pineapple salsa. Liz then offered us some of her home baked cookies with chocolate chips, raisins, pumpkin and flax seeds, and we snacked on those for the hour or so it took Mike to make his first move in Scrabble. Just kidding. It was an half hour.

This past weekend in Kincardine was a peaceful retreat for Tim and me. To leave that little paradise Sunday afternoon, and to return to the crazy busy city life that has become Toronto was quite hard. But to think back on the moments we savoured then and there conjures up the most succinct images: the blessing of true friends, the innocence and wonder of a growing child, the smell of fresh lake air, the sound of the wind and the waves, the touch of the sand, the kiss of the sun. And my Tim, by my side, all the while.

Auntie

Over the last few weeks, I was fortunate enough to listen to all kinds of people recount their collective memories of one special lady, Tim’s Auntie Susan. Last Saturday, the church was filled to capacity and people came in droves. All kinds of people. I heard tidbits about the kind of person she was, the kind of example she set. It was simply awesome.

When I first met Susan, she challenged me about a dilemma I was facing--her words I found to be direct, honest and truly valuable. A challenging approach you would hope to get from your closest friend--for me, Tim. He recently told me this way of provoking thought and reflection was something he inherited from his Auntie. It constantly forces us to discuss things well beyond the surface, to delve deeper into ourselves, to better understand one another. To constantly redefine what's most important in life.

One of Susan’s friends, Nancy, reminded me Thursday night that we had met several years ago when Tim had planned a scavenger hunt for me. One of his clues brought me to his Auntie’s apartment on Quebec Avenue in the High Park area. Each clue was hand written on textured paper scrolls, sealed with wax. Tim's "Apt 222" clue read:

"You are about to cross the threshold of one of my favourite places in Toronto--or any place for that matter. It is a humble abode of tremendous PEACE & SERENITY. Once inside, you are going to meet anew my dear TATA: Auntie Susan."

That afternoon, Susan exchanged with me 3 special keys for 3 special gifts: a butterfly bookmark, a sachet of lavender and a precious winged cherub.

I remember Susan to be very funny. Quick comments she’d audibly whisper over dinner at the Greggs or at Tim’s Nan’s house would make me laugh inside and think to myself what absolute wit. This past Christmas beside each place setting Susan left a little personalised bell ornament: snowmen for the gents, snowgirls for the ladies. Mine had “Nina” carefully handwritten in gold lettering. A small detail, but it made me feel great. She had this effect on so many.

Striking is what Tim uses to describe beautiful people, and this is how I’d describe his Auntie. Her vibrant smile and sparkly eyes were so strong on their own, that no matter what her hair length, she was beautiful. When Tim and I visited Susan a few weeks ago, she was at first asleep, and it saddened me to know that illness was robbing the gift of time from her. But when she awoke, bold humour escaped from her lips and made us smile again.

Through it all, I witnessed incredible strength, compassion and unconditional love from Susan’s family--my future in-laws. I also saw it in her extended groups of friends. One of Mrs. Gregg’s friends, Judy, said Susan was like a multi-faceted jewel, with so many sides to her that only together we were able to see. I thank God for the privilege of this lasting memory.

6 months, 2 weeks and 1 day

Hard to imagine only 6 months, 2 weeks and 1 day remain until our big day. I downloaded a countdown mechanism to the bottom of our blog to keep track. The last few months have certainly presented us with Life’s challenges, and each day we’re doing our utmost to support one another and put our best foot forward, one after the other. A shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, a hand to hold. A life partner. As trying as things may be, I believe it’s part of a bigger plan. However difficult, I think we’re well preparing for our future together.

Many changes and life decisions have presented themselves as we approach our wedding day. We’re still learning how to better communicate, how to better cope, how to better plan for the future. I think what’s fundamental to any lasting and meaningful relationship is mutual understanding, respect, commitment, love and support. The combined package isn’t something that can happen overnight. In fact, I think it will continue to challenge us in the life ahead and only make us stronger. The world sometimes crumbles and personal endurance might seem to waver but for a moment. The mere tension can result in conflict with the ones you love the most. It shouldn’t, but sometimes it does. As tough, unfair, or sometimes baffling as things can get, we’re working hard at becoming more aware of each other as a means of support.

Amid our discussions and our disputes, the one thing I’m sure of at the end of the day is my life partner. He always reassures me and is honest. It can be difficult to say and hear certain things, and to really listen on both sides, but we’re in it together. No matter what happens, I know we will make things work. Slowly, carefully, purposefully, we will get to where we’re going.

Ironically, it’s these very travails that serve to restore my faith in us. And I have Tim to thank for this.

Sisters

Today is my sister Kareen's birthday. She is older than I by two years, but when we were younger, people used to think we were twins. Kareen is the mother of my niece Jazmin, my nephew Maximillian, and married to Peter.

From a sibling perspective, Kareen knows me best. She and I shared a room growing up, even a secret language! We were in hospital at the same times, we had the chicken pox together, and we commuted to elementary and high school. Together.

When I was studying in France, she was so maternal, looking out for me all the time, calling and checking up, and letting little Jazmin (about 2 years old at the time) forever babble on the phone to Tata Nina at an enormous expense from Ma Bell.

Through the trying times with family, friends, work, she has stood by. And every single time I visit her, she spoils me. I sometimes joke that's probably why I'm so rotten!

Frankly I don't know how she does it. Wife, mother of two, Elementary School Chair. She keeps her home (and kids!) immaculately clean, and is a gourmet chef/decorator extraordinaire.

Although our sense of humour is quite different, whenever we're together, she and I share a "unique" humour, often laughing out loud for no apparent reason.

She's so cool, that girl. Navel ring, chic hair cuts/colours, absolutely gorgeous from head to toe.

I'm so thankful for my big sis and celebrate her not only today, but always.

Love you, K!

Dianne

This past Saturday, my parents, Tim and I went to visit my cousin Dianne in a faraway place called Waterloo. Dianne is one of my first cousins on my mom’s side. Trini to de bone, as some might say. She just moved here from the west coast, so it was really nice to hook up for dinner and catch up after a few years and provinces between us.

One of my fondest memories of Dianne goes back to the days when my sister, brother and I were in German school. Every Saturday morning from 10:00am to 1:00pm we’d head to West Hill Collegiate to learn about the various and complicated German tenses, articles, conjugations and vocabulary while all the other kids slept late and watched cartoons.

I’ll never forget the day Dianne suddenly appeared on the scene and spirited us away to Canada’s Wonderland. It was a full moon that night and she joked about being a werewolf. This is the stuff kids never forget, and why today Tim and I take my niece and nephew out of German school whenever possible.

Martha, er…I mean Dianne prepared for us a truly wonderful meal--a roast, potatoes, salads, homemade bread, homemade pie. Everything was so delicious. And then she bellydanced for us (long story) after which she performed like no other karaoke star I’ve ever seen. Butter ripple schnapps. Amazing the talent it brings forth. You really must try it. We did, and by the end of the night we were all singing and dancing.

Dianne as well taught Tim the mastery of Trini talk, finetuning his accent and repeating key phrases. Some time, you should really ask him what he learned to say that day. Impressive. That’s what my cousin is. In the face of adversity, she finds the strength to smile, eyes sparkling, as she effortlessly infects others with her enthusiasm.

Thank you, cousin.

Every Day

Tim and I are firm believers that people shouldn’t be celebrated merely on their birthdays, rather every day. Similarly, declaring one’s love shouldn’t be reserved for only one day of the year. Little reminders every now and then are so much more meaningful. I had this discussion with friends just the other day. We were talking about how in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, so much gets lost. The real meaning of relationships, friendships, love.

Having many family and friends overseas, I’m convinced it’s not the quantity of time we spend together, rather the quality. It’s so refreshing to know you can just pick up where you leave off with some people, even with a few years or oceans between you. So comforting to have one or two friends to turn to, anytime at all, for always. Amazing the inspiration it lends.

True understanding, respect and appreciation are rare these days. I’ve been blessed to be on the receiving end with the wonderful people surrounding me, and each day I aspire to give back what I get. In my experience, those closest to me seemingly have a sixth sense when I need them the most. A phone call, a handwritten note, an Email, a visit, for no reason at all, has often meant the world to me, and made a real and positive difference in my life.

Savouring a home cooked meal with a friend, reminiscing with family, heeding the advice of a mentor, taking a walk with a loved one. It’s these things, these people, these values that remind me of life's simple pleasures.

Take the time, make the effort. I'm convinced it’s a lifelong return on investment.

Onward!

In planning our Fall 2005 wedding, every little piece of this beautiful whole becomes purposeful, significant.

The venue, Miller Lash House is a quaint old stone home, with cathedral ceilings, much wood and several large picture windows overlooking a vast expanse of private parkland. It once belonged to the Dean of Scarborough Campus at the University of Toronto--my alma mater, and current employer--and is now a designated Heritage site. The church, St. Joseph’s Highland Creek is my home parish, and quite literally two steps from the venue. So we could feasibly walk there, although Peter, my brother-in-law has graciously offered to chauffeur us in a modest Mercedes Benz.

Our celebrant, Rev. Fr. Gerry Scott, is my all time favourite priest. Irish. Funny (my sense of funny). A wee bit mischievous. And genuinely compassionate. Tim visited him over a year ago to receive counsel about marrying in the Catholic Church. The two have since dialogued at length about catechism, and we both think he’s cool.

Our sisters, Kareen and Susie, are my bridesmaids and will wear cheongsams (Chinese style dresses) as a tribute to the Gregg family history in Hong Kong. The groomsmen are our brothers, Joe and Dean. Jazmin, my niece is the flower girl since I promised her this role ever since she could speak, and my nephew, Maximillian will be the “ring burier” as he likes to call it.

The flowers will no doubt come from ‘Audrey’s Florists.' My mom has been ordering from Audrey since I was a child and by pure chance, the first bouquet of flowers Tim ever sent me was from Audrey’s--he picked her at random, right out of the phone book.

Our mutual colleague, Sue, who has known us since the very start of our courting, is so easily overcome with emotion, her cheeks reddening and her eyes wet whenever I visit and reminisce about the good old days on the 30th floor. Who would've thought that we'd one day ask her dad, a retired baker, to make our wedding cake?!

As for the music, some of you might know of DJ Rhyme, also known as Elmer. Elmer used to DJ university pub nights, and still frequents downtown clubs. Saulyn, his girlfriend, is my closest friend from university, and the two have offered his cousin's DJ services then as a wedding gift, so that El and Sau can sip, chat and dance the night away as our guests.

And we’re absolutely, positively thrilled about our photographer extraordinaire, who shall remain nameless, the Angel.

There are still things to do. One of the lagging tasks, sending engagement announcements to all our friends and family is almost complete. In fact, it’s being finished this week, so keep your eyes open.

As many of you know, Tim and I both wanted to have a very small, simple and intimate wedding so that we could thoroughly enjoy each other’s company and our wedding guests. So small, in fact, that on my side I count my three closest friends: Jennifer from primary school; Alina, from high school; and Saulyn, from university. The remaining wedding guests are but immediate family. Same goes for Tim.

We both very much look forward to celebrating with everyone else dear to us when time and circumstance allow, most certainly when we have a home of our own.

To that end, onward!

Salt & Pappa

This weekend Tim and I explored Roncesvalles in the High Park area of west Toronto. The street is lined with many European, mostly Polish bakeries and delicatessens. Ever since Keil's Delicatessen on Eglinton East closed a few months ago (Keil retired, much to our chagrin) Tim and I have been searching for an equally good place to buy smoked meats, coldcuts, and stinky cheese--cheese, being my particular weakness.

With the wind chill, it was about -20 degrees, but we let the cold air invigorate us as we walked, swinging hands and skipping to the beat of our hearts--alas, I exaggerate slightly.* Our first stop was a Polish deli where we bought some gypsy ham, and 3 of the best selling pepperettes the store had to offer. We also bought a side of ribs for dinner which we later marinated in a honey, garlic and sesame paste.

Further down the street we went in search of a mom and pop restaurant for our very late lunch. We ended up at Café Chopin, also known as Salt & Pappa. The decor was made up of an old piano of course, some mismatched seats, and one or two paintings of Arles, of all places. We chose the window spot with two high back chairs (Frank Lloyd Wright-ish) across a square table with copper etching--remniscient of Babel Fish, honey, no? There we sampled perogies, schnitzel, potatoe pancakes, cabbage rolls and beet salad.

One of the things we love most about Roncesvalles is that aside from the usual bank kiosks everywhere in the city, there's only a Second Cup and Subway along that strip. The rest are all independent vendors, each with such character.

One of my favourite windows is "The Cobbler Shop" where there are all kinds of wonderful shoes and sandals on display. Smack in the middle of the floor is an old fashioned cash register. Neat-o. I think the only other shop window that compares is the one on the east side of Spadina, south of College. It's a Barber/Tattoo shop with a spic and span, black and white tile motif, and tres cool paraphernalia.

Despite the hectic pace of Toronto life, it's nice to now and then discover the little pockets of old and new world charm, both the odd and the unique. That which makes home, home.

* Tim's rolling his eyes at my humour right now. Amateur.

Relax

Wherever does the time go? Tim and I were home for the holidays with the intention of making and mailing our engagement announcements. But we were both home, sick. Alas, the residual after effects of some terribly mutant flu are slowly fading, fingers crossed.

Every now and then we have to stop and breathe, even for a moment. Sit in a quiet spot. Think. Rest. Tim reminds me of this all the time, and it really is important.

The pace of life in Toronto has become so fast and furious--it’s often hard to step back and take a look at the big picture. So easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and worry about things that don’t really matter. Which brings to mind 2 very clear images.

1.
My “relax” vase, a gift from my old Trini friend, Nigel. Lovely glass etching of that one resounding word staring up at me each and every day.

2.
My photo of the “relax” pelican or stork on Pelee Island--some kind of long legged bird, in wood--perhaps plastic--sitting patiently on somebody's lawn, doing something in general but nothing in particular.

3 years ago today

st. jacob, st. lawrence, markets
picnic-ing & frisbee-ing
dinners, movies, theatre, nutcracker
ballroom, museum, gourmet cooking
baking, babysitting & books
reading, writing, sock matching, ironing
singing, dancing, mcmichael gallery-ing
costumed halloween chaperones & centre island halloweens
cats eyes, dalai, treasure hunt,
row row row boating & fishing (with orange life vests)
apple picking, red pepper roasting, greyhound bus-ing
hikes, walks, fireplaces, wet logs in the oven
lobsterfest, oktoberfest, calypso & keil’s deli
boardwalks & pumpkin patches,
arboretum, conservation area & fall coloured leaves
chess, pinball, cards, taboo, zagat
cross country skiing in knee deep snow (ask Tim)
karaoke-ing (Tim only) & road trips
guelph, fergus, elora, goderich
norland, kleinburg, midland, penetanguishene
niagara & niagara on the lake,
kingston, gananoque, brockville, montreal, ottawa
port dover, point pelee & pelee island
owen sound, meaford, stratford

hey, wha’ haaappening?

quit stallin, must go, don’t rush-a me
it ain’t ova till it’s ova
just called to say I love you, stevie
no, I love YOU more
i’m starvin, marvin
honey, bees make it
spray the brut, spray the brut

quelle belle couleur
voleur voleur
de mon coeur

December 15, 2001. Our first date. 3 years ago today.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful.
Strive to be happy.




One of our favourite poems (Max Ehrmann), one of our favourite paintings (Emily Carr). To lend inspiration.

TAM - Tim Appreciation Moment

Tim forever recites NAMs (Nina Appreciation Moments), which we've both agreed can be excessive depending on whether they come before or after meals. Rarely do I take the time to do the same.

Every day I thank my God for Timothy David Gregg.

Compassionate is the word that first comes to mind when I think of him. He genuinely cares for others, and continues giving his very best. To me, to complete strangers. He turns a difficult situation into something lighter with his gentle approach, his calm patience, his attempt at humour. And when he loves, he loves completely. I'm so blessed to be on the receiving end. Constantly showered with hugs and kisses, always guided by his kind hand.

Contrary to popular belief, I can be moody, mad, yes, even wrong! In the heat of the moment, amid the exchange of harsh words, and the worst hurt people can inflict on each other, Tim has persisted. Always. For every up, he has been there to celebrate. For every down, he has been there to comfort. For everything in between, he has been there, alongside me, trying to find that happy medium.

Right about now Tim's surely gagging at the very thought of my including this in our blog history. I imagine him putting on his Macho Man face. But it's true. All of it. And everyone who knows Tim, knows this.

Tim, thank you for your patience, understanding, and unconditional love. Of all the people in this great big world, thank you for picking me. In the lifetime ahead, I pray that I will be to you, what you are to me. My rock, my inspiration, my true, Life love.

Who, where, when, what, why?

Tim and I worked arms length from each other, and weren’t particularly drawn together from the moment we met. In fact, we were trying to hook each other up with friends, until we ourselves discovered similar values, true charm and great humour--of the two of us, humour being my obvious forté.

Off to NY Tim was one weekend, and ’twas then that he asked me on the official first date. Coca (aka Jen) was to join us on that fated trip to St. Jacob’s, but conveniently declined at the last possible moment. We’ve been together ever since.

My frequent use of the word FANTASTIC in phone conversations used to irk Tim tremendously, and so on every occasion possible, I’d throw it in just for kicks. Our mutual colleagues at that time might remember the Canada Post piggy bank that sat on my counter collecting a quarter every time Tim per chance said the infamous “F” word. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic.

By the time I left that job, not only did Tim use the descriptive more often than I, but I had amassed a whopping $13.75--just enough to treat myself and the fair Jen (Coleman, at the time) to a nice glass of red wine. She was one of the few who knew of our office romance. What fun to eventually reveal our big secret to the others--to witness firsthand the many and varied faces of surprise.


Who can spot red peppers in this picture?

Peace & Quiet Owen Sound

Whoever thought becoming engaged could be so exhausting!

Friday night we drove from Toronto to Guelph stopping for a bite at Babel Fish Resto, overnighting at his parents' house and then taking a drive to Owen Sound for a few days. Tim somehow thought I had an inclination the proposal was coming and figured he'd throw me off with the big IF word. Meanwhile, I had no clue.

"IF we should go forward in the relationship," he started, though we'd always spoken more definitively. IF? IF??? Try as I may, try as I might, he wouldn't qualify that infuriating little IF with a WHEN, and my dinner was done. Hmph!

The original plan Saturday was to take an early morning plane ride over the Fall colours, as a supposed birthday gift from his mom. Tim was a pilot and he was excited to share this past passion with me. I was ready, Gravol in hand--except that rain and high winds were forecast. Ruined was his secret plan to fly me to a secluded island where two Muskoka chairs would furnish the big moment.

Instead, we decided to visit St. Jacob's, surely the best place to buy a bushel or two of fresh red peppers, and one of our favourite spots. And this is where it all happened. No place more fitting, no time more perfect.

I called my mom, then my sister, then my friends, then my future mother-in-law. All the while, Tim listened, waited. Patiently. Briefly stopped by his parents' house to pick up our stuff before heading to a faraway place called Meaford, near Owen Sound, where he had booked the most idyllic Bed and Breakfast, with a stunning view of both water and mountains, both sun and stars. A truly beautiful place.

A craft festival was happening in the area, so we went from place to place, hand in hand, grinning. Together we bought our first pieces for our future home--a ceramic sugar and cream set, and a hand made wooden bowl and vase. Despite our initial reservations (no pun intended, honey), we ended up dining at Ted's Range Road Diner--essentially a plywood arena under a corrugated tin roof, with tables and chairs in the Brunswick House style. Best Prime Rib ever! En-route home we walked through a conservation area taking in the coloured leaves and stopping to wonder at Inglis Falls.

It was thrilling. All of it.

Still is.


Engagement dinner - Ted's Range Road Diner

We're getting married!

So there we were, making the usual drive to beautiful St. Jacob's to take in some of the fresh air and colourful sights. Went to the outlet mall to see if there were any good deals, leisurely strolled through the market and then down the picturesque streets. One of the most charming of Ontario places to be.

As we walked back to the car, Tim suggested we retrace the steps of our first date, and find the spot of our very first moment. Distracted by the distant sound of beating drums (unusual for Mennonite territory), with the fresh scent of horse in the air, I heard him mention something about how it's the company that makes any environment special, and for some strange reason he had to take off his glasses to kiss me. And as I stood, gazing to my left for but a brief moment, I caught sight of Tim's motion, as he got down on bended knee.

I thought to myself, is this it? This is it! The rest was a blur. All my senses gave way, I couldn't hear, speak, fully comprehend. As now he tells me, my distorted face and wide range of emotion in the moments to follow showed exactly that.

October 2, 2004.

WOW.


Engagement photo - Anne de Haas